I found the smallest ocean in the world today
as I turned to run.
It dried it up as I tried to swim away
from what had been done.

Sailing ships, scotch tape and tight ropes.

I visit your foot steps when I don't know which way is right
and which is left. They turn inside-out in the wrong light.
I sit in a chair and put on my waiting room face,
as I slowly begin building with my mistakes
a sailing ship to make my graceful escape.
I dig through my pockets for my scotch tape.
All of a sudden it's a tight rope in between two big cliffs
I'm getting so drunk but I was only taking sips.
Then I'm young again and it's all make believe and play pretend
That's all over now and I'm slipping through your hands.
Then in all my haste all I can grasp is one last gasp
I taste my last words but you can't read
I fall so far that I'm back, I lapse.
I yell as you take a step back to see.
I'm laying in a shallow puddle and you shake me
All I'm capable of is a twitch of unresponse
My lungs are drowning with all your unanswered wants.
My sailing ship comes up my airway canal,
and it begs for my lungs to answer its mass's call.
Just when I really thought I coughed up the final thought
the crows nest is stuck in my left ventricle, we're both caught.
I reach for my scotch tape
and realize I'm barely awake.
My hands are red underneath the freshly fallen snow,
will I last until my last spring so I can thaw?
I cough once to tell you I don't know.
I never had all the answers you saw
written on the inside of my skin,
your finger prints burned me with proof I let you in.
All of a sudden I am the tight rope between two cliffs,
begging you to cross as you purse your lips.
My sailing ship floats below my conscience, filled to the brim.
And you tip toe across then take a step off and fall in.

Call out to me, call me the grain of sand in your eye
call me anything you want, keep up with the lie.
I lay close, I soak you in, I wear you out.
I'm pushing 85 and everything looks the same
I gotta stop counting trees, stop reading signs
I thought I was on a new route.

I'd tell you I'm lucky to live even in my sigh
but you know, we don't know how it feels to die.
I breath the smoke, I hold it in, I let it out.
All the same buttons, thought it was a different game
I got ahead while I was falling behind
I've always been so sure about all my doubt.

Go for it, help all my flaws magnify.
I'd rather feel how it hurts, no chance to modify.
Lethal dose, it went in, it came out.
Pink vomit on the white tile shame
Help me, help, I've colored outside the lines
What will happen, when I'm completely inside out?

Don't read it at all, the shit these words signify,
You'll never have a clue because neither do I.
Diagnose, I walked in, I walk out.
Tell me whats wrong so I can rewrite my name
I've wasted so much of what's not mine, always father times.
Can you help me figure out what this is all about?

I'm confident, I'm insecure, wait. Who am I?
If I don't know who I am, does that make me a lie?
Come close, I'll take you in, I'll spit you out.
Check my face in the inertial reference frame.
I break all the laws with how I move to the nines
One side of me on the other side calls a time out.

I'll blend in 'til I can't see myself, invisible by
the time the sun slips out of the mackerel sky.
Under my own nose, day comes in, day goes out.
I spit the truth, I have horrible aim.
Who I am when the clock is ticking redefines
all I ever knew I was knowledgeable about.